Cool Your Jets
On occasion attempts at negotiations can go sideways so I prescribe a few weeks or even months of space before attempting a conversation again. If this happens with you and I: this is a great window of time to gain more experience, think more about your fantasies, do self care things or book with another provider. Think of it as less a punishment, and more an opportunity for growth and to try again. If I ask you for this space and you are unable to give it to me, we may not be able to do much together.
Some of the most common reasons I'll want to take space before trying again include:
Having completely different conversations or not being able to get on the same page no matter how much we are try to understand each other
Not being able to get on the same page for some reason as hard as we both are trying
Occasions where I need the sub to go have another experience before visiting me
Folks who refuse to screen by industry standards, who can't provide ID, who need to go get a reference elsewhere
Highly detailed stunts or scenes that I do not have the time, capacity or resources for at that time
Extra hesitancy in screening and negotiations, avoiding/ skipping questions
Folks sending me multiple emails in a row, or acting out if I don't respond as soon as they'd like
Folks being reactive, threatening or inappropriate in screening, acting out or being unable to wait patiently
Folks who are so excited by their fantasies that they can't step out to have a negotiation with less muddied consent/ pushing for fantasy talks before screening/ tribute
Unreasonable asks for first meetings without references (CNC, heavy marking, edge play), asks for fantasy labour, to move into my closet or be my live-in servant, to be "sold" by me and other 24/7 experiences that I don't offer
Insisting you have no limits/ Can take anything I can dish out/ "Anything for you"/ exaggerating experience
Pushing for screening methods or activities that I don’t offer, attempting coercion
Not accepting “No” very well.
